I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
