I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
