scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
