Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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