Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The air taste purple.
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