I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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