first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
