What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize