our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
