I wanna bring you to show and tell
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
