When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
