____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
