your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
