We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
