Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
