omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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