OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
