I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
