dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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