I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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