This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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