The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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