Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This beer is not sobering me up at all
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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