i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
