I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
