She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
