You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
