I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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