ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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