you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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