Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
