Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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