she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
