drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
