everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
