I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So many bounce houses so little time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
