how can u be prego again
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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