Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
