Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
