seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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