I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize