He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
