It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just puked most of my soul out..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
