So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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