I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
