So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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