garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
