there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
