Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, beer. Big fan.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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