I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
