i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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