Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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