wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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