I will die if light touches me.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just tell him i said nine months
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
