ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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