Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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