this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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