you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
