I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
